The Patron Saint

I just came in from another walk (I know it's dark, but I'm a night person...I'm just getting started). As I was walking down my street, I saw a toilet out on the side of the road (I'm thinking, "Why is there a toilet at the end of my neighbor's driveway?"). For some strange reason, it made me think of Brinson, the gay guy I went to HI with in '99 (don't ask).

Gay guy = emotionally unavailable, right? This has been going on for a really long time!

When I was talking to Charlotte (my girlfriend in TX) earlier this evening, and asked her, "what is wrong with me?!", she said she didn't know but wanted me to call her after I ask Jamaal and find out. I'd mentioned to her when I came home from Walmart (yes, yes, the daily trip, although they've caught on to my little "show up just before they close so you don't have to wait in line" trick and stopped letting people in at 5:30), that I was feeling like I wanted to just go out and find a man and have sex with him. She asked me why and I told her it wasn't a sex thing...not physical (I reminded her that I'm blessed by God at His will [Mom and my sister in ATL don't read this, God blesses me with orgasms in my sleep when I have pent up sexual energy]), it was just because I can't do that now that New Orleans is "Chiuso!" She laughed. She knows I'm a "good Christian girl" and wouldn't do that even if New Orleans was open.

The thing that occured to me as I was walking is, maybe I wasn't cut out for marriage. Maybe God blesses me with orgasms in my sleep, relieving me of sexual tension, because I was never meant to be a wife. Maybe, just maybe, I'm the patron saint of emotionally unavailable men, and blessing me with orgasms minus men (just like St. Theresa whose sculpture I spent a week looking for in Rome earlier this year) is His way of keeping me pure. Hmmmm....