Jiggity Jig

I'm finally home in Luling after the looonnnngggg drive back from JAX. Who would've thought that just over 36 hours in FL (after an 18 hour drive round trip) would be so rejuvenating! As much as I didn't want to come back, once I crossed the newly minted twinspans (which are temporarily one lane each way) and drove through NO east (which was dark until reaching the 17th St. canal), I felt a sense of rebellion for the city I've adopted as my home for my 20s. I put in my Red Bean Records Bounce cd and cranked up the volume. NO will be back, just never the same...which is reflective of my state of mind.

People thought I was crazy for driving all that way for such a short visit, but it proved to be exactly what I needed. After seeing Shorty, dropping off some essential items to him, doing some basic shopping in a normal city, and having dinner with my family, coming home today proved to be a lot easier than I thought it would be. The drive offered me the reflection time I needed to "get my mind right", and I know now what I need to do. Just 56 hours after I departed on Friday, I'm "home again, home again, jiggity jig", and the fat pig I was supposed to buy at the market, isn't even on the menu any more.

Espen is a fond (albeit, jack@$$) memory, Carlos was a big mistake, Khari (a spur in my pony express saddle), and my father's emotional unavailability...the absence that's made my single heart stronger. I didn't say anything to him while I was home because I know he did the best he could with what he had at that time, and I recognize that my anger came from a fear that I'd make the same mistake again. I'm clear that I won't ever get sucked into an unhealthy relationship with an emotionally unavailable man again. Thankfully, I have plenty of examples in my rear view mirror to compare relationships to that show up on my windshield...and I can just roll on by until I get to where I'm supposed to go.