Cheeky

Yesterday I was accused of being cheeky. It's New Orleans slang (think chipmunks, squirrels [which I hate], or other nut eating creatures with full cheeks), and loosely translated means eating your cake (or nuts) and having them too, a.k.a. selfish. I asked why and was told it was because I pointed out that this individual (Carlos) had never in 7 1/2 years of us knowing (and for long periods of time, dating) each other, ever bought me a gift...not birthday, Christmas, Valentine's, nothing! This was in reply to him calling at 9:30 yesterday morning and asking if I would be home around lunch time. He was on his way to work (I live 5 minutes from the plant) and he wanted to stop by after he left there to use my computer to register for school...oh and by the way, "it would be great if you had lunch ready when I get there." I said, "OH YEAH! That's great, I can open my Christmas present from you while you eat lunch!" To which he replied, "Oh darn, I forgot your present at home. You should've reminded me before I left the house." Yeah right.

When he arrived at noon, there was no food prepared. Neither Shorty nor myself had been hungry prior to that, so I didn't cook. He was disheartened when he walked in and there was no food on the table. When he asked about it, I said his lunch was at the same place my Christmas present was...the store. He then proceeded to tell me I am cheeky, listing a number of supporting situations. I said, "I'm actually one of the most generous people I know, and that's the pot calling the kettle a goddamnned M.F. YOU are selfish [a.k.a. SJA...selfish jack@$$]. Did it ever occur to you that I may be cheeky WITH YOU as a way of protecting myself from being taken advantage of?!"

One of the patterns he referred to was when we used to go out, he felt he always paid for dinner, drinks, whatever. I said I'm generally a traditionalist and think a man should pay, and it wasn't that I never paid, but more often than not, I leave a man an opportunity to be a man and pay. He said that if I were going to say that, I may as well be barefoot in the kitchen with a rag on my head, and pregnant (see the picture of how I was dressed as I was making lunch when he said that). I said, "I guess I better take my socks off," since when he said that I was all of those things minus the socks and the pregnancy, and had started lunch since Shorty was hungry. Parenthetically, I offered the SJA lunch when it was ready...my mother DID raise me with proper manners.

All those in support of the SJA and think I'm cheeky, feel free to send him an email in support of his position. All those in favor of me, send me a message pledging your support. I'll post the results on January 6th in a blog entry. I'm sure he'll call to pick up his cooler (which he brought filled with Heineken for himself) by then. My plan is to tell him, "Oh, I thought that was my Christmas present," and then leave it on the doorstep for him to pick up so I don't have to interact with him. NO SJAs are welcome here in 2006.