The Man Of My Dreams

I took a long lunch today to assemble Shorty's new basketball goal (his Christmas present). I got help from Ed (a child of a single mother who grew up with a trifling father) who offered to help a couple of days ago when I mentioned that I needed to have it done before Shorty comes home on Friday. While we were working on it, he asked me if I had a crescent wrench. I dutifully went off to get one quite happy that I know what one is and that I actually have one. It reminded me of all the time I spent with my dad in the garage working on stuff while I was growing up.

My dad used to send me to get tools and taught me what they were. He wanted all of us girls to be able to do "Man Sh!t" and not be dependent on a man. My mom wanted the same thing...for us to be independent women. I can say that they were definitely successful!

I realized that my parents did a great job (especially my dad) in preparing me for the real world. My parents raised me to work hard (instead of smart, but that's a whole 'nother conversation), do good work, and be a responsible, contributing citizen to society. I know that my job as a mother is to do the same with my son.

I know that part of the reason my ex-husband is a half-assed father is because he's trying with our son to do all the things his father didn't do for him when he was growing up. Essentially, he's trying to raise himself in raising our son. The problem is, he's missing all the things that matter in teaching our son how to be a man. That's not surprising since my ex-husband is a financially retarded chronological adult, and you can't teach what you don't know. I don't know anything about being a man, but my father didn't know anything about being a woman and he did a pretty darn good job teaching me how to be a successful woman. Now I have to figure out how to impart those same qualities in my son.

Shorty's coming home for good tomorrow. I just hope I'm ready to show him what he needs to see and teach him how to be a strong man, balancing loving him with raising him, which is the difference between my ex-husband and the man of my dreams.