Am I

My local realtor stopped by this evening with a bunch of papers for me to sign in preparation to put my house on the market. She told me she's already got 4 people who are ready to buy it as soon as I'm ready to sell. After talking to her I remembered that I forgot to call the realtor in IA today and I went back to the office to get her number and email my itinerary to the IA HR rep. As I was talking to the realtor there, I was disheartened that the housing market there just isn't what it is here. I'm looking at moving into an older home and having to remodel to have what I want (which doesn't make me very happy because I'm not a "Trading Spaces" kind of person).

I was talking to the realtor there while looking for Tony's (a Cajun seasoning) in my local Winn Dixie. As I was walking through the store & giving her my personal contact information (since I'm leaving town for vacation in a few days) I saw a woman I used to live 3 townhouses down from when I first moved here. Her daughter was with her (a girl Shorty used to play with) and I was a little surprised to see how much puberty has set in. Then it hit me...I've been living here a really loooonnnngggg time! As I walked to my car (into the 72 degree April air with mosquitos buzzing about and nipping at my long sleeves) I thought, "Am I really doing this? Am I really moving to IA?" where it's potentially still snowing this time of year & I'm walking around in flip flops here?

So it's been on my mind since I got home:

Am I doing this for the right reasons?

I requested a transfer a year ago because I want Shorty in better schools for the latter half of his education, and I wanted to avoid "the perfect storm". Well, the perfect storm has already hit. Statistically, the chances of my home being destroyed by another hurricane are pretty slim. Am I making the right decision?

When it comes to career, I work with two of the best engineers in the company. Yes, I'm overshadowed by their accomplishments, but I haven't been doing my best work since the storm hit. Am I making a mistake thinking the grass is greener on the other side when I haven't watered the lawn here in the midst of a drought?

I wanted to get away from Carlos because I didn't think I'd ever be able to say no to going back to a relationship with him. The truth is, after I met Espen, wised up a year ago, dumped the SJA and moved on with my life I was fine...until Carlos was arrested due to post-Katrina racism gone mad. I called to see how he was doing & allowed myself to be sucked back in...but ever since we had "the talk" (or rather, I aired what I'd been feeling for a mighty long time), I've felt at peace with living in town with him here & interacting only for business. Am I running from a problem I no longer have?