R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The young black folks from work threw their "going away" dinner party for me on Friday evening. I wasn't really inclined to go since these functions are like attending your own funeral, but since I was the guest of honor, I humored them. As soon as I arrived, I scoped out the waiting area and chose to sit next to D. who'd arranged the function as opposed to next to Carlos. When we moved over to the grill table (we were at Shogun), Carlos & I ended up sitting on opposite ends, but he planted himself right next to the "new" cost accountant. The two of them then proceeded to flirt with each other for the rest of the evening.

After dinner, we went back to D's apartment and played cards until the rain stopped. They coaxed me into my swimsuit and then out to the pool for a late evening swim. Carlos continued flirting with the cost accountant, including pinching and playful splashing in the pool. The worst part was that she flirted back. I had to sit there and watch this the whole time because the get together was for me. On top of it, Carlos pretty much ignored me for the duration of the evening which simply made it worse.

When I just couldn't stand any more, I collected my things so I could leave. I took the half empty 6 pack of Heine's and started out the door. Carlos asked if he could have one & I ignored him, but being the SJA that he is, he persisted.

"Come on, you can't take all the beer! If you didn't bring any, you can't take any! Don't you know the manlaws?!" he exclaimed.

"Last time I checked, I wasn't a man," I retorted & headed for the door.

"Come on, just give him one," D said, reaching for the beer in my hand.

"If Carlos can't return phone calls, then Carlos can't have beer," I stated. "Y'all have a great evening!" I said.

"Oh, so now it's personal," Carlos said, while I turned to exit.

As I closed the door behind me I heard D say, "Now Carlos, why you didn't walk that girl to her car?!" but I just kept walking. I didn't want to let on for all these clueless 20 somethings the turmoil that had been brewing without their knowledge. As I was making my way across the parking lot, the younger engineer came running out and yelled, "I was told to walk you to your car!" "That's okay...I'm fine. You have a great evening," I said with a tired voice. I got in my car and headed home.

I was so upset by the whole evening that I called my prayer partner to share my feelings about the event. I told her that it's so obvious to me that he's working on the cost accountant as my replacement. "He couldn't even wait until I left town!" I ranted for the duration of the 15 minute drive home about the ordeal.

"Are you home now?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied as I closed the car door.

"Can I ask you a question?" she calmly asked.

"Sure," I said.

"Are you still going to dinner with this fool tomorrow evening?" she flatly asked.

"I don't think we're going to dinner," I replied.

When my other girlfriend, Serena asked me that same question yesterday afternoon, I told her I didn't think I was going.

"Why would you go to dinner with him after he flirted with G. right in front of you?" she said.

Long story short, I didn't go to dinner with him. I really thought about everything and what my tech friend Carol said to me the last time we got together, "It's like battered woman syndrome." In retrospect, it is emotionally battered woman's syndrome. I have little (if any) respect for Carlos now because he's been abusing me for 8 years. Someone like that doesn't deserve respect until they get professional help and truly change which he's obviously not doing since he's working on a new bitch. But that's not my problem. All I have to do is respect myself.