Thankful

After another Thanksgiving with my family, I'm finally home. I almost missed my flight this morning because I remembered the departure time incorrectly (8:10 instead of 8:50), and didn't realize it until my parents, Shorty & I were on the way to the airport. What I really appreciated (besides riding to the airport in early Sunday morning silence) was that no one freaked out about me potentially missing my flight...especially my mother. I was impressed with myself for not feeling any anxiety at all when I realized I might miss it. I just trusted God & knew that I'd get home when I needed to, even if I was delayed because of my own mistake.

That's had me thinking (what else is new :-)...things are so different than they were a year ago. Last Thanksgiving weekend, I was planning to go to Italy with my friend Kim when she called me that Saturday to tell me her boyfriend had proposed and that they'd be getting married, killing our plans to investigate Angels & Demons together in Rome. The events that have followed have changed my life so much from what I thought they'd be if you'd asked me the day before turkey day 2004:

• I asked Carlos if he'd like to go with me to Europe (to which he said, "Yes, Paris, at Easter") and with courage planned my trip to Italy alone. When he backed out a few days later, I was upset, but didn't realize what a blessing his crawfishing would be.
• I went to Italy by myself (not knowing anyone, not speaking the language, & with no plan [including no map of Rome when I got off the plane]) and met a man who has changed my life forever...most importantly, curing me of jack@$$ for life.
  
• I cultivated a brief but intense international relationship with Espen who gave me a glimpse of what I'm supposed to have when it comes to an intimate relationship with a man.
• I went to Norway to visit Espen and found that patience is the one quality I still need to develop before I'm any where near ready to share my life with someone.
• Hurricane Katrina came in turned my entire world upside down, especially my spiritual life...because now I'm having to rely primarily on God's direct voice instead of His guidance through others in my spiritual family to get to where I need to go.

So what am I thankful for? I'm thankful that God has a way of keeping it interesting (life, that is), and for knowing that if I just trust Him, really trust Him (sans anxiety), that it will all work out in the end. His plan is always better than mine, and I've come to realize that now. I couldn't have scripted the last year if I'd wanted to, but more importantly, I'm accepting each day as it comes now...knowing that what He has in store is better than anything I could come up with. I'm thankful for the opportunities He's afforded me which have enriched my life in the last year, and I'm even more thankful for Him showing me that through Him, I have the strength to endure it all.

What's in the next chapter? What will be next year's turkey weekend entry? I have no idea...but instead of hoping it doesn't contain any more heartache (which might mean the exclusion of more cloud scraping highs), I'm praying for patience. It's one thing he definitely has left to reinforce in me.