A Deafening Silence

I went by Franklin today (my home church since October 15, 2001...where I first came to understand God's Love...where my son was baptized). The first pass was like a viewing. I thought I'd be strong, but just seeing the 6 foot waterline was too much at that time. I'd passed by on the way to my co-worker & friend Chris' house which is located in New Orleans East (which is one of the hardest hit areas in New Orleans). His house had been closed up since the storm until yesterday. We (Shorty, my sister Barbara, & I) arrived just before 11. I jumped right in to help with the work. After having seen Franklin in passing, I just had to do something to work through the emotions that were running through me. I wanted to work more when I remembered that Chris' wife also attended Franklin (she used to sit at the other end of the same pew that I sat in every Sunday), but after a couple of hours working with a sledgehammer, my back and shoulder were hurting so bad that I had to give up and head out.

I decided to pass by Franklin one more time before going home. All I can say is, I'm hurting! Seeing the inside of the house...God's house...my other house...I just couldn't take it any more! I could deal with everything that's going on if I could go there every Sunday for more of His Word & inspiration, but it's gone! I feel so abandoned by Him, much the way I felt abandoned by my earthly father...I know He's there, but He's not talking to me any more, and I don't quite know what to do about it. The same was true as I stood there in the sanctuary. There was nothing but a deafening silence, and it was like I was 12 years old again. If He could just tell me what I need to do to have Him back I'd do it, but it's like He's just gone, even though I have Faith that technically He's still here. I just wish He'd show up and show me the way out of this mess...and if He's not going to do that, at least explain, "Why?"