Empty Glasses

I just finished a critical conversation with Shorty. He was watching Degrassi: The Next Generation as I was working on the kitchen faucet (which has been leaking for a while). This afternoon, we'd taken a trip into town to go to The Home Depot to get washers and springs so I could fix the leaking faucet. As I was tightening the faucet for the third time (the damn thing wasn't lined up properly and it was going to bother me if I couldn't get it "just right"...which he found rather amusing) he said to me, "they're passing out condoms."

"What?" I half-heartedly asked, more focused on the alignment of the faucet and a little distressed that I couldn't get it to line up perpendicularly with the sink. "They're passing out condoms at the school on the show," Shorty said. I realized he was quietly screaming for another opportunity to talk about sex.

"What do you think about that?" I asked.

"I think that no sex is safe sex, " he flatly replied.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Well," he off-handedly replied, "there's two meanings to that. No sex is safe sex unless you're ready," he very maturely said. I knew it was time to really focus on parenting, so I put the channel locks down on the counter and went to sit on the couch next to him. "When do you think you'll be ready?" I asked (cautiously in my mind, but very liberally in my tone of voice). "When I'm married," he said. My soul smiled at the innocence he obviously is still operating on.

We talked for a while about sex with me asking about what he thought about married people having sex, and what he thought about teenagers having sex. He was clearly against teen sex, but thought that maybe when your 18 it might be okay, but it still might be unsafe because, "you could still catch something or get the girl pregnant." I asked him when he thought he might have sex. He said he didn't know, but maybe when he was married. I asked if he might have sex when he was 18. He said he might, but he didn't want to catch anything or get a girl pregnant until she was his wife and he could take care of her.

I said, "Maybe when you love the girl and you're ready to spend the rest of your life with her and are able to take care of any children you have, you'll have sex." He said, "but what if she has something that I don't know about." I said, "Well, if you love her and know her, that won't be something you have to think about. Where do you think your worth comes from?" I asked. "From you and daddy," he innocently replied. "No," I said. "From my friends," he guessed. "No!" I exclaimed, realizing he was too interested in the t.v. show. "From God!" he shouted half-heartedly.

"Oh yes! From God!" I said disappointedly.

"I'm sorry!" he retorted. "I don't really think about God first!" he said as he tried to watch the show and talk to me at the same time. "Oh! I'm so sad that you think of God last!" I said as I muted the television.

"I just don't really think of God first," he said as he refocused his attention on me. It was time for a heart-to-heart, so I made sure I had his attention. "Shorty! All the love I've ever given you has come from God!" I stated. He looked a little confused, and that's when I realized it was time to share with him the vision I had while I was on vacation in Paris two weeks ago. I went to the kitchen and got out a small wine glass, a tall wine glass, a tumbler for liquor, and a tall water glass. I filled the tall water glass with water (from the faucet that's still leaking and I haven't figured out what I've done wrong in trying to fix the damn thing). Then I told him a story.

"When you were a baby, you were born empty, like this little glass," holding up the small tumbler, "except for the love I gave to you while you were growing in my belly," then I filled the short wine glass with some water from the water glass and poured it into the tumbler. "After you were born, your father" [I touched the tall wine glass half filled with water from the water glass], "and I" [I touched the short wine glass half filled with water from the water glass] "tried to give you as much love as we could" pouring water from each wine glass into the tumbler. "But we were limited. We needed to get love from God to give to you." I filled each of the wine glasses with water from the tall water glass. "But when things were stressful at work," I drank a little, "or bad things happened in the world," I spilled a little on the counter, "there was less to give to you."

"We try to give you as much as we have during this life," I drank a little more water from the short wine glass, "But we can only give you so much," pointing out the lower level in both the tall and short wine glasses. "We get our love from God." I took the tall water glass and took it to the kitchen sink, filled it to the brim, and then poured a portion into each wine glass. "God is where we get the love we give to you," then pouring water from each wine glass into the tumbler. "But it's time for you to learn how to get your love from God, because we are limited." I took the tumbler and filled it with water from the faucet.

"When you fall in love with someone, you share the love you have with that person. That's what happened between me and your father." I poured the water back and forth between the short & tall wine glasses. "So, when you love a girl, you are going to want to give the love you have to her. I poured the water from the tumbler into the empty glass. "But if she's not receiving love from God, she's going to take all you have to give," empyting the tumbler into the glass with little water. "So you see, Shorty, God is the only one who can love you in the way you truly deserve. His Love is where your worth comes from. Any girl you meet is going to have to be getting her love from God before she can give any love to you! Although your father and I love you, God is the only one who can love you unconditionally {pointing to the leaking kitchen faucet, with the seemingly never ending supply of water}! Your father loves you. I love you. But God loves you in a way that no one on this Earth does. You're going to have to go to Him before you go to anyone else!" He seemed to understand as he ate his sandwich and egg rolls, marinating on the heavy analogy I'd laid on him on a Saturday evening.

EPIPHANY OF THE YEAR: We are all empty glasses...where we get the things to fill ourselves with determines what we're worth.