Things To Do

This morning I left my hotel room armed with an address & a target date for closing. I was highly productive in crossing off tasks on my "Things to do before I move" list. Power, water, cable, & the all too necessary change of address forms for Shorty & me were taken care of today. But when I checked online for the status of the child support modification case (I requested a review in Sept. 2004) in FL (that's where we divorced) so I could start proceedings to have jurisdiction moved to IA, I was livid when I saw it had been closed...again!

At first I wanted to scream. I've made 3 attempts in going on 9 years to have child support increased (my baby's daddy is required to pay $250/month...which doesn't even feed the boy), all of which my ex has managed to find a way to stop. I never said he was stupid, because he's not. I just think it rather amazing that he doesn't understand that the money is for Shorty (I'm shaking my head at my child's financially challenged father).

At any rate, I decided to stop by the county courthouse to find out if I could get the jurisdiction moved here & yet again request a modification of child support. Apparently I'll have to go to Davenport for that (sigh...legal issues). I was angry. I was frustrated. I wanted to break out a pack of cigarettes & smoke until the haze blocked out all memories of my ex (one blasted weekend in bed with him & I'm financially tied to the man for life...REALLY!?!?!). All this on the heels of him not having purchased an airline ticket for our son to visit with him later this summer (his reasoning being he didn't have the money because he had to pay a ticket for driving without insurance and was then stopped for a headlight being out and he missed a court date for something else and he didn't know there was a warrant out for his arrest...blah blah blah with the chronological adult serenade). I had a strong feeling I'll end up buying Shorty the ticket, yet again to not receive reimbursement for my ex's half. I sat on the bench outside the hotel and thought to myself, "What would Jesus do?".

I sent a text to the ex and inquired as to when he'd respond to the email I sent him two weeks ago with the summer plans for Shorty. He replied with, "I'm going to come visit him since it's more financially feasible for me," which didn't surprise me since it was precisely what a chronological adult would do...think of himself first. I sent him another text, "So you're going to stay in a hotel for 6 weeks?" which is the amount of time our divorce papers state he's supposed to spend with our son each summer. When there was no response, I sent another text requesting actual phone conversation and then another saying the text was an olive branch (oh yes...that's what Jesus would do).

When he called, I didn't mention the child support. I decided to deal with the most immediate issue at hand. When he said he would come visit Shorty in IA (an airline ticket will be about $400) & that he needed to look into how much a hotel would cost for a week, I let him know that I've been in a hotel for the last week & it's about $100/night. Nevermind that a rental car is about $50/day. With as calm a voice as I could muster, I talked my financially challenged former husband through the math:

Let's see, $100/day hotel + $50/day for a car = $150/day, multiplied by 7 days in a week...carry the 3...equals $1050 for a 7 day visit...is $1050 greater or less than $400? Hmmm...$1050...$400... this sign < or this sign >? $1050>$400? The pac-man wants to eat more so the pac-man's facing the right way...$1050 is more than $400!

I then reinforced why it would be better for Shorty to visit his dad in CA for 6 weeks (you know, as opposed to sitting at home alone in a new town where we don't know anyone while I do that thing [what's it called...work!] that allows him to have those little things he needs...food, clothes, a roof over his head), and finally helped him realize he's just going to have to come up with the money sometime before June 30th. He agreed to do that, but I'm not holding my breath...I need to let out a deep cleansing breathe after another session of parenting my half-child. That was not on my list of things to do today.