The Kikuyu Mafia

I just finished a conversation with my cousin in Miami, Kenya (we Kikuyus have set up our own village here in the US). He'd heard from his wife (a distant cousin of ours, but that's a WHOOOOOLE 'nother conversation) that I am going to Norway and will visit the man I met in Italy. Naturally, he was concerned. He fully vetted my decision, expressing his concern because he was thinking like a man of all the things a man thinks. He let me know that he was only doing it because I didn't have a brother. I told him I appreciate his concern, and I am going to take his advice and at least book one (probably two) nights in a hotel in Oslo for the beginning of the trip. That way, I'm at least starting my vacation in the country and on the Norwegian's turf (in my cousin's words) "on my own terms." Don't you just love my kikuyu mafia family?!