I'll Never Forget You

Now that I've told Carlos the truth about where the relationship is going (with yesterday's MCI moment about my friends & family & what they think of him based on the way he's treated me for the last almost 8 years), I am finally ready to date. Although I don't want to get into anything serious until I move (which is in the near future), I still think it would be a good idea for me to get out there and get some practice allowing myself to be treated like the queen that I am.

For the longest time, I didn't think I deserved to be treated well (residual divorce issues and other baggage I inherited), but having met Espen I know the opposite is true. I also know that my ideas about the right man for me have changed significanly since my divorce. I'm much more realistic about what's out there, and have a clear grasp of not just what I don't want, but what I do want. I've learned that what I want is to be treated kindly, and Carlos is just not capable of that with me. I wish him the best of luck with the next woman, but I'm more than happy to be moving on.

I've realized that if it hadn't been for Katrina & his unfortunate arrest due to racial profiling, & me having a soft heart and calling to see how he was, I probably wouldn't have ever spoken to him again. I know now that speaking to him isn't the problem. He had it in his mind that this might go somewhere. I know for a fact, it's not. Now he knows, and having said the words so plainly out loud makes it real. Ironically, the pink carnations he gave me last Sunday as a belated Valentine's gift mean "I'll Never Forget You". I bet he won't.