Time For Love

Recently, Char (my girlfriend in TX) & I were discussing our ex-husbands (aka, half-children). She was going on and on about the most recent jack@$$ behavior her ex-husband had demonstrated and I listened attentively. I shared with her my recent tirade to my mom, and told her that I realized that I was bitter about my childhood. This was confirmed when I talked to my prayer partner, about the same time that I talked to Char after the conversation with my mom.

Alicia (my prayer partner) told me that she "wept for me" when she realized how much bitterness I was carrying around because it "is holding you back from the greatness that you were meant for", referring to the positive person I truly am and all that I know I was created for (making the world a little bit better than it was when I came into it while taking care of this planet & the people who live on it). I told Alicia that I love my family, but I'm willing to let go of them if that's what I have to do to let go of all the wrong that was done to me while I was growing up, but I didn't want to let go of my parents, siblings, their children, & all of my other family members. Alicia said, "Your family's always going to be your family," which I agreed with. I told her that I'd had friends in the past who told me to just let go of my family and go my own way, but I couldn't do that because I'm always going to be part of my family. I asked Alicia, "How do I let go of the past without letting go of my family?" She said she didn't know the answer, but that was something I would have to pray about. While talking to Char, we had a similar discussion...how do you let go of a trifling ex without letting go of the familial relationship you created with the mule that has manifested itself in your minor child with him?

God gave me an answer this week, and I'm happy to share it. So how do you "Let go, without letting go?" It's actually very simple...you forgive.

When I shared with Charlotte that I didn't want to let go of my family but did want to let go of all the hurt they've cause me, and I shared with her my question to my prayer partner, "How do you let go without letting go?", Charlotte said, "When you know, let me know, & make a pill out of it!"

Now I know...it's forgiveness.

Forgive yourself for the mistaken choices you made in your youth.

Forgive your parents for the things they did that lead to those choices.

Forgive yourself for the situation you're now in that came from those choices you made that now make your life harder.

And forgive the people that have contributed to your difficulties along the way.

I just asked Shorty, "Do you think mothers are forever?" and he said yes. I asked him why and he said, "because you never get old."

In a child's mind mothers are forever...but I'm not a child any more (and haven't been for quite some time). My mother is old now, so I'm going to call her and tell her I love her & that I forgive her for all the mistakes she made with me while I was growing up. One shouldn't treat their parents (and certainly not their mother) the way I did a couple of weeks ago. What comes around goes around, and it's time to break the cycle of anger and bitterness that's been passed on in my family. It's time for love.

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me." - I Corinthians 13: 11, the Love chapter.