Peace Via Disclosure

I just finished a long, intimate conversation with Carlos. I told him that I now understand why he came into my life (to help me work out my issues with my father) and that I don't blame him for the way he treated me all these years. "So there is some good in knowing me?" he said sarcastically. I told him that he was {essentially} who the universe had sent to me for me to be able to work out my daddy issues of relationships with emotionally unavailable men. He was his typical self (uncomfortable with intimacy) and tried a couple of times to dismiss my feelings, but I didn't let him. At the end of all this disclosure, I felt the peace I've been needing for such a long time. His only response was, "Just as long as you don't end up as my boss!"

"I feel the same way!" I replied. I assured him that it was unlikely that we'd ever end up working for one another since he's in manufacturing & I'm in ES&H. He said it was possible since we work for the same company. I'm going to go on my faith in God that it won't happen.

As he was preparing to leave, he said he'd see me again before Shorty & I depart.

"I don't think there's anything else left to say except good-bye," I stated.

He lingered for a hug...I gave him a non-emotional one and he left.

My girlfriend in FL once told me, "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." I now know the reason for Carlos in my life, and his season just ended. The thing is, when it comes to the ideas in the Celestine Prophecy, I was in his life for some reason, season, or lifetime as well. I'm finished. I'm not sure he is. Either way, I'm at peace with my time in NO...which brings me back to Italy.

When Espen (the Norwegian) and I left the little spot in Rome where we shared a bottle of wine as I poured out my heart to him, we were so giddy in the peace that we felt through spiritual intimacy that we didn't know where we were going.

Me: "I don't even know what street we're on!"
Espen: "I bet it's via something!"

I know geographically where I'm going in IA, but only God knows where I'm going spiritually.