Closure

is what I felt today when I put the thank you note in the mail to Espen this morning. Along with my sincere thanks for him taking care of me while I was in Norway went all my anxiety and confusion about what went wrong there. I know that one clear purpose of his in my life has been fulfilled...I'm cured of jackass for life. The quiet one stopped by my office this afternoon while I was on the phone with my sister in ATL (telling her I couldn't talk about Espen any more) and asked me to call him. Once I was off the phone, I called his office and we talked briefly about work stuff. I didn't bring up the jackass and didn't ask about his personal life. That part of me is truly closed (he's still gorgeous, but I didn't notice since Espen is still in the back of my mind), and mentioning Carlos was so far from an option that I can't think about it.

I just closed the weekly "co-parenting teleconference" with my ex-husband. A lot more stuff came up this evening, but I'm not sure we made any progress. I'm almost at the point where I don't want to talk any more. He's certainly financially retarded, but I'm starting to think part of why he is that way is because I feel the difference. I feel the financial effects of his retardation, and I allow it to affect my thinking. I told Khari that I want to get at the root of our issues, which is true. As I said to him, "you can cut the grass every week, but if you don't get at the root, it's going to grow back and you're going to keep having to cut it again and again." I want closure where that relationship is concerned. I'm tired of arguing/discussing child support. He is financially retarded. Maybe it boils down to my relationship with God and trusting Him to provide when my ex-husband doesn't. Maybe my closure comes from Trust in Him...hmmm, that's what I came up with when I put the stamp on that thank you note this morning.