Welcome Back To Mommydom!

I spent a better part of the morning watching t.v. with my son. When I finally decided to turn off the idiot box, it hit me: I miss Espen! I was missing the connection to him, talking to him, seeing his face, etc., and I called my prayer partner who talked me through it. After a while, I decided it was time to start doing all the things that need to be done to get back to the reality of mommydom, leaving behind the freedom of singleness...and that included "pining for the fjords". I started catching up on bills when my beautiful golden skinned, sandy-brown haired, blue-eyed child told me he was getting hungry. I knew it was time to buy food.

We headed to Walmart (ah yes, the daily trip), and I knew that buying only for today had to end. I covered the bottom of the cart with lots of healthy foods (vegetables, fruits, low fat protein sources...there's no money for eating out and only wine at home), and headed to the checkout after 30 minutes, unaxious to see what the damage was...$54.01. We headed back to the house and I (gasp) cooked dinner. When I opened the door to the fridge to put the leftovers in, I almost didn't recognize the inside since it was, um, full of food and not just water, wine, & a dead mosquito!

I thought my system might go into shock (shopping and cooking, the two things I hate most...surely you can't be serious), so I called my girlfriend in TX who'd asked me a few months back if I felt like I was running out of time with the impending end to my singlehood. At that time I told her, "That's more than 5 minutes from now, ask me after I get back from Norway." When I awoke yesterday morning, ridiculously late for work after partying my last night of freedom away, I called her. She said good morning and I said, "I'm not ready." She got a good hearty laugh out of that, so I thought she'd appreciate my activities of the evening. After I told her what I'd done, and listed the rest of what I have to do (freakin' A...more shopping...school clothes, school supplies...it's going to cost a small fortune...so much for having my hair braided), she mockingly replied, "Welcome Back!" After that conversation, I headed out for a bottle of wine.

On the way out, I decided to go ahead and get my son sandals (he's just had his 3rd ingrown toenail removed in the last year, thanks to his irresponsible father, aka, my half child) in case we actually make it to church tomorrow. While in the store, I just went ahead and bought his school clothes ($141.47) and we made our way home. I sent him straight to bed after brushing his teeth...he can shower in the morning. I need this time to write to sustain a little of myself as I raise him alone...but the good news is there's no time to sit and think about Espen and how he went left in Norway...I have a 10 year old to raise!

As I think of it all, the dollars & cents, the additional work, the caring for another person, the lack of aloneness, the having to deal with my half child...it's all worth it for what he said to me while we were in line to pay for his school clothes. He noticed that Jessica Simpson is on 5 magazine covers this month (we'd spent 2 hours watching the E! story about her and the rest of the Simpson clan earlier today). I said to him, "She was a virgin when she got married." He said, "You mentioned that before. What's a virgin?" I explained, "It's a person who's never had sex. It would be good for you to be a virgin when you get married." He said, "I'm never having sex." I laughed and said, "Oh, I think one day you'll have sex, you know maybe after you turn 30. Then you can get married and you and your wife can give me grandbabies." That 3 minute conversation makes it all worth it. Welcome back indeed!