Old Flames Are Just Smoke & Mirrors

I was watching THE TODAY SHOW this morning (or maybe it was yesterday morning...one of the luxuries of living in the greater New Orleans area & it being Mardi Gras weekend which means I don't have to go to work for more than two days) when they had a segment about old flames reigniting. They referenced this website & I immediately thought of my ex-boyfriend (the one who works at corporate). I didn't get to see it in detail, but I did catch the most important parts. One of the points that was mentioned was communication. I'm paraphrasing but, "if you can communicate with one another like you did when you first met without the immaturity of what was there in the first place, then you definitely have a chance." Whenever I talk to him, it's like I'm 12 years old again, sneaking downstairs to the playroom to talk to him on the phone until the wee hours of the morning about anything and everything. God knows he's been there for me unconditionally ever since I met him around Christmas '86.

Why did we break up? Ultimately, I was immature & shallow & kicked him to the curb, wondering "what else was out there" (my parents wouldn't allow me to date until I was 18, even though I graduated from high school at 17, moved out, and started my adult life without guidance or experience). He wasn't a triple threat (in my opinion) when it came to Looks, Money, & Personality...and I thought I was. I know I'm a beautiful woman (for the most part, I'm a strong 7, possibly an 8), and when it comes to money, I'm as much a genius as my fear to invest allows, and finally, when it comes to personality...if a man can tolerate some of my narcissism & my occasional insecurity (and my obsessive compulsiveness), then I have a very charming personality. So basically, I broke up with my first love because I was shallow, insecure, & my parents hadn't fully prepared me for how to handle being loved unconditionally.

I've had some time to think it through since that fatefully Memorial Day weekend in '93. I love him still, because he's done what no man has ever done for me...loved me unconditionally. Does that mean that we're meant to be together forever? I have no idea. But having seen the segment this morning, I know we broke up for a reason...and if we ever get back together again, it will be God's will.