Scar Tissue

I've been working on uploading the pictures from my trip to Norway for over an hour now. I want to get it done so I can feel closure (not that Katrina didn't take care of that, but you know). I'm already a little teary eyed just having looked at some of the pictures...partly because the memories are bittersweet...partly because Hotmail is extremely slow today and I've been staring at the screen for so long. Making this web page is much more difficult than I thought it would be. Ironically, the trip to Norway was more difficult than I'd thought it would be as well.

I keep checking each picture file for viruses (sometimes they have one, sometimes they don't). Hotmail is so slow, sometimes I have to stop the page and reload (this is something I don't normally have to do). Never mind that it's taken so long for me to even get the pictures from Marcelle's camera (my friend from Brazil) because first she thought her computer had a virus, then her mother died, then Katrina came, then Rita...it all just reminds me of the physical therapy I completed after my shoulder surgery last year.

The need for surgery came suddenly out of nowhere (meeting him & the experience in Rome which lead to the trip to Norway in the first place). The procedure itself was painful (realizing "He's Just Not That Into Me", especially not as into me as I thought he was). Now I'm having to go through recovery. Slow, intense, periodic therapy sessions to work through what broke me in the first place, but completing the exercises I need to do to heal...not physically this time, but emotionally.

My physical therapist would stretch me at the end of each session. He'd press my hand back, stretching my range of motion for my shoulder even when I had tears in my eyes. He'd tell me I had to do it if I was going to regain my flexibility and break up the scar tissue. I'm tired. I've done as much as I can for today. I'll come back to it tomorrow and work on the scar tissue I've developed around my heart.